


Causality

by Recluse



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M, alt title: dense and denser, this is a monster I don't know how it happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-09
Updated: 2013-08-09
Packaged: 2017-12-22 21:50:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/918424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Recluse/pseuds/Recluse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cause: One small conversation. Effect: Too much to mention.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Causality

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by this comic: http://yokumieru.tumblr.com/post/56771411339/title-log-artist-tiya-rating-g
> 
> This entire fic escaped my hands and then flew off into the stratosphere. I can't even tell if it's up to par anymore.

"Haru!"

There's a slight crash, and Makoto turns the aisle corner and hopes he makes it in time. Haruka had wandered out of his sight again, and that crash could be anything, but, better safe than sorry, especially when it came to public decency and Haruka.

Luckily, he makes it, Haruka's only naked from the top, not the bottom, though his hands are dangerously close to his belt.

"Haru-chan, stop!"

Haruka pauses, mid belt un-buckle. A worried, slightly disturbed store clerk is a little ways away, unsure of how to go about the situation. Makoto runs over to her instead, explains the situation and apologizes several times while Haruka puts his clothes back on.

From the side, Nagisa goes, "Wow, you really can't take Haru-chan anywhere with water, can you?"

Makoto sighs.

//

"Haru, you can't just jump into any water you see! The store almost kicked us out! Again!"

Haruka turns his head, not listening. Frustrated, Makoto can't help but whine, "You'll never get a girlfriend like that!", attaching a sigh at the end.

 

He pauses.

 

Something about that sentence feels wrong. Girlfriend? Haru?

It's probably the very idea of Haruka having a girlfriend. Haruka's never had much of an interest in anything but water, and, as rude as the thought is, no one has really approached Haruka, but...There's a drop in his stomach, a gnawing sensation of discomfort, and so he stares at the ground and tries to ignore it.

He's felt like this before. He pushes the thought far, far away.

\\\

Haruka frowns, turning his head to face Makoto.

"You hover. And you worry too much." He huffs. "That's not going to get you a girlfriend either."

 

He pauses.

 

There's something that bothers him about what he's just said, and he doesn't know what. Makoto...A girlfriend...? Had Makoto ever had a girlfriend?

They'd never really discussed that type of thing, but Haruka is nearly one hundred percent sure Makoto would've said something if he'd ever gotten one. It's not something he'd hide, that'd be strange, but...Something feels off.

The whole idea is stupid, he decides. Makoto is Makoto. What girl would date someone so overbearing? And Makoto was always around Haruka anyways, so what girl would date a guy like that?

He frowns harder. Why is he even dwelling on this?

"I guess we're the same then." Makoto says with a gentle laugh, and Haruka refuses to answer.

Still, the thought won't leave him alone. He opts to think about dinner instead, burying the thought behind mackerel and rice.

//

Nagisa's laughter and Rei's horrified shriek draws them towards the edge of the locker room after practice, where Nagisa is flipping through a magazine, Rei looking thoroughly traumatized.

"Ah, Haru-chan, Mako-chan, look at this!" He chirps with a smirk, and then opens a random locker. Instead of nothing though, there are stacks of adult magazines. Makoto's jaw drops, scandalized.

"They're pretty recent too, you know? The date on this one is last week!" Nagisa turns to a page, then faces Rei. "Hey Rei-chan, which one do you like? Hmm?" He prods him with a finger, grinning all the while. Rei turns bright red, up to the edges of his ears.

"I- I don't look at such things!" He shouts, covering his eyes when Nagisa pushes the book closer to him. "I never will!"

Nagisa laughs, then pushes the magazine towards Makoto instead.

"Mako-chan," He starts, sly, and Makoto sputters, waving his hands in front of himself to push Nagisa away. They really shouldn't be looking at these things, he thinks, panicking, why are they even in here--

"Nagisa-- I don't think we should--"

"This one?"

He flips to a page, stopping at a black haired, busty woman with a serious expression. The caption on her page says, "A serious and elegant beauty, but...?! A surprisingly fierce and feisty cat in bed!"

There's nothing on her but see through lingerie. Makoto yelps, covers his eyes as soon as his brain registers what he's seeing. Nagisa laughs, delighted.

"Ne, Haru-chan, what about you?"

He points to a model a few pages over. Makoto can't help it, curiosity beats morality and he peeks his eyes out to see which model Nagisa thinks Haruka will like. Haruka and him had never spoken about it, after all, and that girlfriend comment is still stuck in his mind, the sensation still twisting his stomach if he thinks about it.

The model is a brown sugar brunette, or so her description says, with a very, very short apron on. Her caption reads, "A sweet and gentle girl, always ready to cater to your needs!"

Haruka frowns. Makoto is vaguely relieved.

Because his friend isn't interested in porn magazines! Not because he doesn't like the girl! That's not it at all, Haruka can like whatever type of girl he wants, that woman has the same hair color as Makoto anyways and--

\--and Nagisa is talking to him, thank the stars. He's a little more than worried about where that thought was going, and where it was directing him to.

"So, Mako-chan, this model?" Nagisa flips back to the busty one. Makoto keeps his eyes covered, but Nagisa manages to pry one of his hands off his face somehow.

"Mako-chan, answer! I won't bother you again after, okay?"

He complies, mostly to get Nagisa off his case. "She, she's okay I mean, I--"

"--You like that type?"

Everything goes silent. Rei peeks out of his fingers at Haruka, who looks baffled himself, a slight frown on his face.

Makoto is pleased for a split second, a swell of pride over Haruka's interest in what his type may be before he berates himself. Haruka's interest doesn't mean anything, he doesn't want it to mean anything, that's definitely not what's happening.

\\\

Haruka frowns. He hadn't meant to say that aloud, he hadn't meant to sounds so...Affronted either.

"Eh, Haru-chan, are you jealous?" Nagisa says with a little laugh.

He changes the subject with a quick turning of pages, pointing at the one Nagisa showed him earlier and saying, "She's nice."

"H-Haru-chan!" Makoto says, eyes wide. He sounds a little more than flustered, and Haruka can't help it, he's privately proud before the irritation sets in. He shouldn't be proud about anything.

He glares at Makoto, silently conveying _you started it_ , except the effect is dulled by Nagisa saying, "So Haru-chan likes that type!"

He doesn't answer, preferring to walk out the door, tie still undone. Nagisa's whine is lost to the sounds of footsteps, Makoto chasing after him, saying, "Haru-chan, your tie--! At least tie it a little!"

He keeps walking. It's all because of that stupid girlfriend comment that he's all out of order like this, he decides, and tries to erase it from memory, except the image of Makoto cheerfully having a girl hang off his arm comes up instead and irritates him more. Ever since that chat, the image has popped up, and he doesn't know why it irritates him so much, but it does. He usually can sink into the tub and let the water embrace him, forget about it, but walking like this, he can't, and so he walks a little faster.

He is not, he thinks, walking out of spite. Making Makoto run to catch up is something he's always done if Makoto is slow. There's nothing different about it this time, even if he is irritated.

Makoto catches up fairly easily, as figured. The first thing he does is say, between breaths, "Haru...Tie..."

Haruka rolls his eyes, but ties his tie properly. Makoto gives him a pleased smile, and Haruka's frustration burns out, just a little.

//

He can't help it, he keeps thinking back to the locker room, Haruka's "She's nice."

Honestly, it was more startling than anything, he thinks, calmer now. He hadn't been exactly sure Haruka even cared about that kind of thing. His acknowledgement of any person was surprising.

His stomach twists again, and he knows it's not from running.

"Haru-chan," He swallows, suddenly nervous, "The model Nagisa showed you, do you really--"

Haruka glares at him. Makoto shuts his mouth automatically, Haruka has multiple glares, and this one is the one where if he speaks, he's going to get something awful back later, one way or another.

However, Haruka just mutters, "I didn't actually care. Nagisa was getting annoying."

"Ah." Makoto says. Part of him is satisfied with that, and part of him is genuinely curious about what Haruka does find attractive, if he doesn't actually care about that particular model. Then again, it could be his habit of denying anything troublesome, which makes Makoto smile a little wryly.

"But you..." Haruka murmurs, and Makoto can hear the frustration in his voice, plus the question, so hurriedly he says, "Oh I just said that to please Nagisa!" He laughs nervously, scratching the back of his head. "I do like black hair though, and pretty eyes, but I--"

Haruka stops walking entirely for a moment, turning his head curiously.

"Really?"

Makoto has a sudden realization that everything he just said should not have left his brain. He has another revelation a few seconds later.

Romantic feelings for your best male friend was clearly a big no-no that he'd broken ages ago, back when they were twelve. But five years had certainly given him a lot of practice at ignoring it, or hiding it, or just plain denying it in general, and now here he was, the rush of feelings he'd been keeping under wraps basically dragging him down under in less than a second. All of it was rearing its ugly head at him, and why hadn't he dealt with this before, gotten over it like normal people did, why had he stuffed himself full of denial and convinced himself that Haruka definitely needed him around and so he would just have to hide his feelings and his entire type was literally Haruka, how was he going to explain this at all, their friendship was ruined--

\--Haruka is walking again.

"What are you standing there for?" He asks, but it's more gentle than his grumbling before. Makoto takes a few fast steps to catch up.

 _Of course Haru wouldn't over-analyze it,_ he thinks. Haru, after all, isn't interested in him like that, so why would he look into it?

\\\

He sinks into the lukewarm water before rising up, decidedly done with his soak for now. When he rises though, he catches his reflection in the mirror.

_Black hair..._

He runs a hand through his wet hair. It's not particularly soft or anything, a little dry from chlorine actually, but it looks okay, and it's definitely healthy--

\--He catches himself fiddling with it and forces his hand down. It doesn't matter, black hair is really common and Makoto's type shouldn't concern him at all. It doesn't matter at all if he matches Makoto's type, he slides back into the tub with a grimace.

_"...Black hair and pretty eyes."_

His eyes aren't that pretty. They're a nice color, he admits that much, but he doesn't exactly look at his own eyes very often, usually ends up looking at green ones that slope downwards just a bit, and why. Is he. Thinking. About. This.

He wishes he could just think about the water. But today his mind is particularly stubborn, and even as he submerges himself for the nth time today, he can't stop thinking about Makoto's vague description. Pretty eyes? What kind of eyes were considered pretty to Makoto? What kind of strange, nondescript answer was that?

There hadn't been any question though. He hadn't actually asked Makoto what he liked, Makoto had just answered because he'd heard the question in Haruka's voice. Really, he hadn't been interested in the answer, Haruka repeats to himself in his head, he hadn't been interested in the answer.

He scrubs his hair twice that day. Makoto is coming over, not that he's the reason he's scrubbing his head, but it's important to be clean for guests anyways, even though Makoto could take the title of his mom pretty easily.

"Haru-chan?"

For nearly the first time in years, Makoto knocks on the bathroom door before opening it. It's irritating.

"What?"

"I'm gonna cook dinner, okay?" Before Haruka can add anything, he says, exasperated tone showing, "There will be fish, but you have to eat more than that!"

Haruka nods lazily. Before Makoto leaves the room though, he says,

"Makoto."

"Yes?"

"Do I--" He shakes his head. "No, never mind."

Makoto gives him a curious glance, but smiles anyways. "Okay, Haru-chan."

"Drop the -chan." He says, more out of habit than anything.

He was not going to ask about his eyes. He was, however, going to forget all about what Makoto said, or at least, drown trying, sinking into the tub once more.

//

He's carefully brushing his hair when his siblings shout, "Haru-chan is here!"

He nearly drops the comb, it flies out of his hands and into the sink, a chorus of plinks and dings as it hits the edges. Makoto picks it up and thrusts it back into its proper place before running out of the bathroom to greet him. He nearly slips on the wood, barely catching himself at the last minute, right in front of Haruka.

"Haru, you're early!"

His hand moves up to his hair, partly consciously, partly unconsciously. Despite Haruka's words, Makoto had gone back one day, alone, and took another peek at the girl, and sure enough, they had the same hair color.

It doesn't mean much, he knows, it probably isn't a big deal at all, but it doesn't stop his feelings, unfortunately. His feelings, which are crashing all over the place when he sees his siblings cling to Haruka the second he walks through the door.

Haruka had been there the first time they'd came home with his parents. They'd both spent a number of weekends together watching the twins, Haruka was practically their brother, which made him his brother, and he's made himself mildly depressed. Haruka probably regards him like that.

He snaps himself out of it. Now isn't the time, he tells the twins to let him go, Haruka hasn't even taken his shoes off yet.

"But Mako-niiiiiii," Ran whines, "Haru-nii hasn't came over in a long time!"

"Yeah, I wanna play with Haru-nii!" Ren whines, tugging a little on Haruka's shirt.

"He came over just last week," Makoto says, sighs, but gives Haruka another apologetic smile. "Sorry Haru-chan."

Haruka shrugs. Ran pulls on his pants leg. "Hey, Haru-nii, Mako-nii was actually brushing his hair a lot today! He told me brushing makes it shinier, is it true?"

Makoto attempts to die on the spot. _This is so stupid_ , he thinks, it's hair, he doesn't even know if that's the part Haruka was commenting on, and besides that, Haruka had said so himself that he hadn't really cared about the girl, he had just wanted Nagisa off his back, and now he really wishes he could drop into the earth.

Haruka simply bends down to take off his shoes, gently pushing the twins off as he does so.

"I don't know if it's true." He says. Ran pouts, but allows the answer to pass. Ren says, "Haru-nii, are you gonna stay for the whole night?"

"Maybe." He says, finally walking past the foyer. The twins follow him like a train into the kitchen, where he rummages their fridge for something to snack on. Makoto follows, intentionally running his hand through his hair, disassembling all his hard work. _Not that it matters_ , he reminds himself. _Haru really doesn't notice this kind of thing._

\\\

By the time the twins have fallen asleep, still clinging to him, Makoto's mother insists he stay overnight. He's never denied to do so before, and so he agrees, despite the fact he's been vaguely uncomfortable in Makoto's presence the whole time. Has he always smelled like that? Kind of like a pool, Haruka thinks, but something nicer, as unreal as that seems.

Ran's hair comment had drawn his attention to Makoto, and certainly, his hair was a little bit neater than usual, at least, it had been, though by now it was the same mess as it normally was. He liked that better. Makoto didn't look quite right without his hair in a mess.

Then again, Makoto didn't look quite right at all lately. He was...Not shining, but Haruka considered him brighter than usual with his smile, and he kept noticing things that he was fairly certain hadn't existed before. Makoto's hands were nice, and he smelled like water, probably from swim practice, chlorine, but something a little nicer, more like something familiar, and glasses suited him, Haruka thought, staring. Though of course, Makoto wouldn't know, since only Haruka got to see and therefore no one else got to tell him he looked good in them, which was fine, it wasn't like he told Makoto he looked good in them anyways--

"Haru-chan?"

\--He blinks.

"Are you okay?" Makoto gives him a concerned stare. The tv has been flickering for a while, Haruka realizes, and frowns. Had he really gotten that caught up staring at Makoto? He sees him everyday, it's not as if he wouldn't have time to look, no, that's not even the real issue. The real issue, Haruka thinks as he clicks the A button and says, "Sorry." while Makoto laughs it off, is that he's focused more on Makoto than anything else, which is strange. It's that he keeps looking out of the corner of his eye and ends up crashing into a wall twice in the game because of it.

Makoto chalks it up to him being tired, he can already tell by the way he says, "It's late, isn't it, Haru?"

He nods, trying not to notice the way Makoto's glasses frame his face.

While Makoto puts the controllers and console away, Haruka lies his head down on the edge of his bed and happens to breathe.

Bad idea.

He shoots up, sitting stiffly, back straight. Makoto hadn't noticed, still occupied with putting things back in his closet quietly, as to not wake the twins, who are snoring in the same bed that Haruka had happened to lie his head down on, and then had happened to breathe while lying on, and then had happened to have a full body shiver run its course through his body.

 _Definitely chlorine_ , he thinks, trying to calm down, _chlorine, soap, warm cotton?_ He can't place it at all. He's never cared, is the problem, and now it's almost overwhelming.

 _It's just a smell_ , he chides himself. He's so busy with telling himself off that he hardly registers Makoto pulling out the futon until -- damn his nose -- the smell floats around the room.

"Haru-chan, sorry," Makoto whispers, as to not wake the twins, "But it looks like we'll have to share the futon, since the twin's beds are small."

Normally, this wasn't a matter to care about, but he's a little high strung still, so he eyes the futon warily.

//

He's pretty sure he's not imagining it, Haruka has been staring at him a lot today. Maybe the comment did bother him, Makoto thinks, his hand holding the futon curls just a little tighter.

He looks at Ran and Ren, torn between waking them up so they'll get off his bed and leaving them be. They're so tired, and it's late, and it'll be bad for them if they wake up and then go back to sleep, but sharing the futon...

Last week they'd shared it, the same circumstances usually came up when Haruka stayed over. But last week he hadn't cared this much about Haruka's opinion on anything, and now he felt like if they were in the same room without supervision he'd end up running his mouth wrong and Haruka would leave and never come back, which was the last thing he could ever want.

Haruka eyes the futon, a little frown crossing his face before he shrugs and says, "Okay."

Makoto doesn't know what that frown is about. He just hopes that it's not Haruka thinking something bad about him, because really, he'd never dare to pressure Haruka into anything, and he already knows Haru's not interested, probably doesn't even know about Makoto's feelings. He's ninety-nine percent sure, anyways.

So he takes off his glasses after setting the futon down, turns off the lights and stumbles to his side of the bed, which is left -- Haruka likes the right side. That's how it's always gone, and while for the first few minutes he lies there in worry, he drifts off to sleep fairly easily.

Well, almost.

Haruka had fallen asleep as soon as Makoto had hit the lights, but something was off. Makoto carefully turns on his side to inspect, make sure Haruka isn't having a strange nightmare or something, but then he wishes he hadn't.

He's flushed, but not with a cold. It's too hot, lately, to sleep with a blanket, and so Makoto has full view of the results of Haruka's dream. He's still panting and flushed, thought softly, quietly, and Makoto's face does an interesting thing, turning red and then draining of color.

It turns red again when Haruka murmurs something, and it could be anything, but with Makoto's brain being the way it is(incredibly in love with Haru still, and now acknowledging so), he thinks it's his name.

 _This is really, really bad_ , he thinks, sitting up. There's a twitch in his lower half, and he glares in the darkness at it, willing it down. Haruka is right there, and Makoto isn't about to wake him up and tell him anything, instead he ops to crawl out of the bed and get himself some water to drink, leave Haruka to his dream -- which, Makoto flushes at the soft murmur's memory.

He doesn't fall asleep until long after Haruka has settled down.

\\\

 _What the hell_.

He doesn't remember much of his dream, but he remembers enough. A certain green color, and a sort of dry softness combined with wet, and the smell, which is still lingering to his left. He turns his head to glare at it before remembering the source.

Makoto sleeps with quiet, deep breaths. When he was younger, he used to sleep curled up, but now he sleeps more in a straight line, his arms sometimes flung out, though never when Haruka is over. His mouth is a little open, soft to look at, cause Makoto actually cares about carrying around chapstick. Haruka had never really gotten the concept.

He leans closer to Makoto's neck, inhaling softly. Yeah, it really is a nice smell, like salt and sand, chlorine, but with something that's more interesting too.

He swallows. More interesting to parts that usually aren't interested, at least.

Makoto chooses that time, of all the times, to wake up, turning his head and bumping noses with Haruka. He smiles, warm and still sleepy, and Haruka is a little surprised at the lack of distance, but it's never been a big deal to them anyways.

"Haru," He murmurs. His breath is hot against his face. "G'morning."

 _His words are slurred_ , Haruka thinks. _He's not really awake, is he?_

 _He's definitely not,_ Haruka thinks, _he's definitely not awake_ , as he leans forwards and kisses, actually kisses, the corner of Haruka's mouth before leaning back and sleeping again, eyes closing, breathing evenly.

Haruka doesn't know what to do, so he blinks, stares, unsure of what just happened. Makoto had. He'd. Was he mistaking him for someone? No, Makoto had said his name, and he'd looked so honest about it, so content, and he really should have looked into this a lot earlier because Makoto has a crush on him, and he just realized it now. Makoto has had a crush on him, he realizes, since ages ago, probably back when they were kids, and Haruka has always known about it and never said anything. He'd forgotten.

He realizes that he doesn't mind. Or rather, he thinks that he minds, that he should mind, but he can't quite bring himself to. He thinks about the scent floating around and the way Makoto had said his name, the look he'd given him, and he's not usually one for external reactions, but he feels the heat creep up his cheeks.

He gets up, unable to lie there any longer.

//

Makoto wakes up from what was a pretty nice dream, one about Haru and kissing, and then he wakes up completely and banishes the dream from his thoughts. Haruka is still here, at his house, and he shouldn't be dreaming about kissing him anyways, since it's never going to happen.

He shakes his head a little. Now isn't the time to think about anything like that.

Haruka's gotten up already, which is a little unusual, but not unbelievable. The twins are still sleeping, and he tiptoes out of the room, only to find Haruka standing in the hallway, contemplating something.

"Haru?"

He turns, seeming startled. Makoto gives him an apologetic smile, but Haruka's frown is turned somewhere, and he's staring at him directly, and so his smile falters just a little.

"Makoto," He says, "This morning..."

"Huh?"

"This morning, you--" And Makoto is suddenly nervous, because what if his dream hadn't really been a dream at all, and he'd ruined something, Haruka is giving him such a strong look--

"Onii-chan...?"

\--Ren's voice comes from inside the room. Makoto thanks whatever entity happens to exist.

"Yeah?"

"I'm hungry."

\\\

If Makoto would just do something, like that morning, he wouldn't be feeling like this, is what Haruka decides.

Ever since that failed hallway conversation, Makoto has artfully dodged anything in relation to it, and yet he won't look Haruka in the eye sometimes, mumbling things, avoiding subjects. Dreams in particular, as Rei had asked him if he was sleeping all right and Nagisa had chimed in with something about dreams and then Makoto had completely turned red, down the neck, which was really an inviting place, except Haruka wasn't thinking about that.

He's never really known how to do anything other than swim, he huffs in the bath, bubbles escaping. How is he supposed to tell Makoto that he doesn't mind, that he kind of wants whatever liking him entails, that last thought makes him sink further, water whispering its support for whatever he does.

It's embarrassing, if he's going to be one hundred percent honest, and he wonders if this is why Makoto never tried anything, because it's embarrassing to notice the way someone smiles.

And Makoto does smile a lot.

//

Haruka is acting different. There's no other way for him to say it, Haruka has been different ever since that night he stayed over, and Makoto hopes that nothing happened. Hopes.

Who is he trying to convince, something must have happened, for Haruka to be so quiet, almost avoiding him. He slips out of Makoto's reach all the time now, only takes his hand to get out of the pool, avoids his touch at any other time. He doesn't respond either, Makoto despairs a little, he listens, but his responses are even shorter than they used to be, and it's as if Haruka has closed a wall around him, and Makoto isn't that good at breaking through that. He isn't even sure he wants to.

He's a little scared he's going to lose Haruka if he does try to break that wall. Haruka doesn't do that unless there's a reason, Makoto knows that, and while he's always been able to watch the wall crumble, this one seems to be built especially for him.

He bites his lip and stares at the whiteboard.

\\\

_Look at me._

Haruka tries to send the message, somehow, through telepathy. They're at his house, doing homework, or at least, that's how it's supposed to be, but Haruka hasn't really done much, because Makoto has been quiet.

When Makoto comes over to bug Haruka about homework, usually he does it. Or rather, he does it to ignore Makoto's nagging, which lasts nearly the whole time Haruka is working, unless they get stuck on a problem, and then they think in silence. But Makoto hasn't said much today, just worked on his homework in silence, maybe asking a question here or there.

And it's frustrating. Haruka taps his pencil, lightly, but Makoto still doesn't look his way.

He wants him to, he looks at Makoto and thinks, _look at me_ , and a very small part of him whisper thinks, _don't you like me?_  He closes his eyes to fend the thought off before it grows.

He keeps thinking things like that around Makoto. _Don't you like me_ , he thinks when Makoto is talking to other people, tries to will him to come towards Haruka before Haruka reminds himself that Makoto has always talked to other people and he shouldn't be trying to monopolize him. He shouldn't want Makoto to be around even more than he usually was, he shouldn't want Makoto to only give him the soft smiles he seemed to hand out to anyone, and he definitely shouldn't want to feel his mouth again.

That last thought really has been a pain, Haruka thinks, a small sigh escaping. His touch always reminds Haruka of that moment in the morning, and it ruins the rest of the day, because then all he can think about is Makoto.

"Haru-chan?"

He opens his eyes.

"Are you awake?"

He's staring, curious, with a little concerned frown. Haruka stares back, a little uncomfortable, but it's not in a bad way. Instead he wants to lean a little closer. He doesn't.

"Haru?"

Makoto tentatively reaches towards him, but doesn't reach all the way to touch, just waves his hand in front of Haruka's face. "Are you really awake?"

Haruka frowns, staring at the distance between him and Makoto's hand before reaching over and pulling his wrist down onto the table. Makoto makes a small, surprised noise.

"I'm fine."

Makoto tries to pull his hand back as he says that. "That's good then, I don't want you to fall asleep on me--"

"Makoto."

"Y-Yes?"

Haruka doesn't know what he's going to say next. He looks at Makoto, who averts his eyes, and frowns.

"Look at me." He says before he can stop himself. Makoto's eyes turn back to him, though his surprise is obvious.

"You like me."

//

It's not a question, Makoto can tell that much. His heart sinks.

He looks down at the table. "...Yeah."

Haruka's grip on his wrist is still strong.

"...Since when?"

"I," He swallows, "I don't...Exactly know?"

It's not really a lie, more like a half truth. He can't exactly place when he fell for Haruka, but he does know that it was probably that day at the shrine, when they were younger, Haruka and his sunset. Somewhere around there, he thinks, for sure.

Except he really, really doesn't want to think about this when Haruka is staring at him.

"...Why didn't you do anything?"

His heart speeds up. "What?" He says, looking back up.

Haruka looks just as surprised as he is, but he repeats the question, though with less certainty than before, his grip softening. "Why didn't you do anything?"

"Did, uhm," He can't quite believe what may be happening, "Did you want me to? Do something, I mean?"

His face is on fire, he's absolutely sure of it. He isn't sure if he spoke correctly. His throat is dry, but he can't bring himself to sip at the water on the table, because Haruka is looking at him. Really looking, he stares back, Haruka is looking at him, trying to see right through him again, and then he's being kissed.

It's so sudden and unanticipated that he nearly pulls away. Nearly.

\\\

When his lips press against Makoto's, he doesn't register what he's doing until after he's done it.

"Haru?" Makoto whispers, almost like he's afraid to breathe. Haruka hadn't pulled that far away, Makoto's whisper is close to his mouth.

That he wants to feel again. And again. And maybe again.

"I want to do that again." He says, quietly, against Makoto's mouth. Makoto turns redder than before.

"W-why?" He stammers, but he licks his lips and moves a little closer, and they kiss again before Haruka answers.

"Because I like you." He whispers, thinking of the cause and effect, from one stupid girlfriend comment to a whole mess of thoughts, until Makoto is all that he can think about, Makoto and swimming.

//

Haruka likes him. _He likes me_ , he nearly faints when he hears him say it out loud. _Haru likes me_ , it's all he can think when they kiss, his hands reaching, scooting closer, _Haru likes me_ , his hand meets with Haruka's on the table, _Haru likes me._

When they breathe, drifting apart, he doesn't stop holding Haruka's hand, and he's smiling so much that his cheeks hurt.

They end up kissing a lot after that.


End file.
